Perhaps the plausible solution

          is to mandate Latin again into curriculum:

          vernacular conveying the gravitas demanded by current conditions.

          Anticipating parental outcry over diminished GPA

          and the self-inflicted epidemic of ADHD,

          limited vocabulary instruction would pair

          with a multitude of modern visual aids.


          Focus first on basic roots:


          Illustrate with streaming video of MLK and Winston Churchill speeches.


          Assign autobiographies of Nelson Mandela and Mother Theresa.


          Require students to volunteer in person for Habitat for Humanity;

          Big Brothers/Big Sisters.


          Spend second semester on prefixes and suffixes:


          Show the girls in class clips of favorite reality TV shows:

          ladies asserting sexuality by giving it away like men.


          The boys will watch congressional hearings:

          heroes explaining accidental performance-enhancing injections.


          The class will band together to view grainy footage:

          misunderstood trench-coated youth wielding 2nd amendment rights

          statement suicides in blazes of infamia

          faces of familia in most extreme dolor

          candelae et flores in sollemne silentio at steel-gated entrances

          making one final unified stand in memoriam.





                                                                                                                                Boyd Bauman